Signs Of The Times
You have been warned.
Home sapiens? Here are some samples of consumer-item warnings that a friend
sent me, presumably deemed necessary to protect us from ourselves. Surely it
has to be over for the human race soon.
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Added by Nick Bucska on 9 February 2001:
On a felt-tip marker:
Swallowing this product may be harmful or fatal