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Rants, Raves, Interesting Science & Awful Puns
May 18, 2008

Joseph & Pharaoh

Modern Version

The following was sent to Benny Peiser's CCNet newsletter by Professor Richard Lindzen of MIT. Richard tells me that it originated from an old friend of his, Norman Cohen, who wouldn't object to my reproducing it.

And the land became full of wheat. Pharoah called upon Joseph to inquire of the meaning of this.

And Pharoah said unto Joseph, "Behold, the land waxeth full of wheat. It is abundant everywhere. It has swallowed up the land. Even worse, it is intruding upon habitats of endangered species."

And Pharoah said unto Joseph, "Last night I dreamed a dream. There was a banquet in the palace. Bread was brought to the table, and we ate. But as soon as the bread was eaten, more bread appeared on the table as if none had been eaten. This continued until I sent the servants away. What means this?"

Joseph said unto Pharaoh, "The dream is one with the land. It is global wheating. Global wheating is caused by man's planting and harvesting. We have to stop the planting and harvesting."

And Joseph told Pharaoh what he must do.

"Appoint ministers over wheat and ministers over taxes throughout the land, and set goals to reduce global wheating. A 5-year plan to bring wheat levels down to 20-year-ago levels; a 10-year-plan to bring them down to 50-year-ago levels. Cap the allowable planting, and levy high taxes on those whose yields are too much as they profit too much. Give tax credits to those who do not yield wheat, and they can barter with those who do yield wheat. Those who yield too much wheat will have a large wheat footprint."

"You, Pharaoh, will have more power over the people and more wealth in your treasury; and global wheating will cease."

But Pharaoh entreated Joseph, saying, "What about the famines? We have always had famines in Egypt. Should we not have too much in time of plenty as there will be too little in time of scarcity?"

"You are under term limits", replied Joseph. "Let the next Pharaoh worry about famines. Now you can increase your power and your treasury; the people will cheer you as a hero and love you. The kings and princes of the world will bow to you because you stopped the global wheating. But you must act now, while there is time."

Pharaoh was very pleased when he heard this.

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